Parentsnet Plus

Posted: Mon May 19, 2008 11:02 pm

i have a 16yr who goes out drinking with her friends at the weekend this weekend well from when she came home until 5am was really on 1 it took me all the time to calm her down when she got up at 1pm sunday afternoon i went into her room and took the drink she had and asked er where she got it from se said a friend so i said to her its going down the sink as u went on 1 i u dont need tis drink any more she locked me in the bedroom with her so i had to get my 8yr to go and get a friend to come over to get me out but in the itme my 8yr was gone i did manage to get of the room with the bottle of drink too took it outside to where my friend was and we both smelled it to see what was in the bottle it was blackcurrant and cider i then put it donw te drain and my 16yr daughter was going mad she then went up stairs to her room got dressed and said she is going to leav home and not come back i said b in for 730 for the way u acted all night by 8pm still no sign of her i phoned the police and reported her missing they came out and took details off me then asked to see her room i said u can have a look in it but its a health hazzard on its own they went away and then this morning i went to the school to se if she had turned up and she had the school then rung the police and went and saw my daughter they came and saw me again when i got home from work they said ur 16yr does not want to come home and ther eis nothign they can do more and nor can soiscal services i have since my 16yr today and have tried to talk to her she is said she is going into the council tomorrow to get a bnb and will not and doesnt want to come home i am single parent with 2 other children in the house where do i stand as parent can she leave home like that and will the council pay for a bnb plzzzzz i need helpppppppppp i havent slept for 2 night s worring about her

Posted: Thu May 22, 2008 4:12 pm

Val, I'm very sorry for the delay in replying. My PC packed in a couple of days ago, just got back online.

Regards your daughters wishes, I'm afraid at 16 she is able to leave home and rent her own property, and she will recieve housing benefit if she meets the right conditions of entitlement. Unfortunately there isn't much you can do to stop her.

However, maybe this is the wake up call she needs Val. She may recieve housing benefit and council tax benefit but hw will she pay her gas, electricity and phone bills? How will she fund her food shopping? A B&B will not put up with her drinking and not paying toward the bills. The council will pay for her board but not for her meals if meals are included.

I can see only two real outcomes here if she goes ahead:
1. She will soon feel the pressure of what being a grown up responsible adult means and ask to come back home
2. She will surprise you by how well she manages and it could be the making of her once she realises holding her own comes with responsibilities.

A lot of teenagers these days are always shouting about their rights and what they can have, but they forget their responsibilities until they jump up in front of them and are unavoidable.

I wish you very well, and do pop on if you are having difficulty and need to vent, I'm around mainly in the evenings.